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Next NFL Team Tom Brady Will Take A Snap For (If Not TB):
Raiders (+250): A reunion with Josh McDaniels in Sin City 🎲 sounds ideal for a middle-aged divorcee with money to burn.
Jets (+350): With family in NY and the chance to beat his old team twice a year, Brady could take a serious bite out of the Big Apple 🍎 (as long as apples are TB12 Method-approved).
Patriots (+500): Would Mac Jones’ presence prevent a Round 2 🤔?
Dolphins (+600): The Dolphins have been lusting after Brady for years. Now that he’s approaching retirement age, he may want to stay in Florida 🌞.
49ers (+700): San Fran is the perfect place to launch Brady’s new tech product: unbreakable tablets 💻.
Colts (+750): How much would Brady love to win a ring 🏆 with Peyton Manning’s old team?
Ravens (+900): Brady can join John Harbaugh in their shared quest to look 39 👶 forever.
Commanders (+1000): Brady could purchase the team from Dan Snyder and rename it. The Washington Brady Bunch 😂 wins again!
Saints (+1000): If Brady wins a Super Bowl for NOLA ⚜️, they might make him an actual saint.
Falcons (+1100): They gifted him that 28-3 comeback in the Super Bowl a few years ago; now it’s time to return the favor 👏.
Titans (+1100): With all the throws he’d save by handing off to Derrick Henry 💪, his arm might last another 20 years.
Texans (+2500): If you want to be instantly beloved by your new fan base, replace Deshaun Watson ☢️.